I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I truly don't believe we get life-changing messages from God or Mother Willow from a booming Morgan Freeman voice. Messages are about listening. You must be in the right place, at the right time, with an open heart to see what the World is trying to do with you.
I was in the right place at the right time.
I'm typing this as I'm waiting to meet with my tutoring student. He lives near a McDonalds. I usually sit here with a cup of coffee and get on my computer to do work. I keep my headphones in my ear so that people don't bother me. But I'm listening.
Two older women with WatchTower booklets sat at my immediate right. They kept throwing the ULTIMATE side-eyes to the table of high schoolers nearby. They were offended by the teens' language, offended by their volume, offended by their presence.
Eventually, one of the women went over to speak to them. Her friend had coached her.
"Someone needs to say something. Go over there and tell them", her friend said.
"You all need to learn some respect. You keep sitting over here and saying vile things and it is bothering my ears. Would you speak like that to your mother? Or your grandmother?"
The students looked up at her, laughing.
"Hi. Hi. Hi lady. Hello. How are you. Would you like some of my lollipop? It's grape flavored". She gestured the lollipop forward, smiling sweetly with a purple grin and purple teeth. It was really a grape lollipop.
"I don't want no lollipop. I want you to understand what you look like. You think it's okay to be sitting here and talking and carrying on like that?", the older woman questioned.
"Hi mom. Hi."
Eventually, "Mom" walked away. As she returned to her table, her friend egged her on.
"That's right, they need to understand. A child is to be seen, and not heard."
That's when I realized what was happening. I was getting a Message.
We are in a dangerous world. The kids we love and serve are silenced in EVERY sphere of their world. They're told to sit "like a leader" in school and to behave and be present. To only take an active role during Youth Sunday at church, but not on any other Sunday. We tell them that political involvement is important, but ignore their very unique ways of resisting and living into activism when they fight against school closings. We wonder why we groom so many adults to become complacent, and we have lost the origin of the problem. It's us. We do not have many spaces where intergenerational work takes place. And because we don't have many spaces in our world that facilitate relationships between youth and elders, both groups are likely to have opinions of the other, grounded in anecdotal experiences. This is why every word we say to young people matters. We color their lens.
Honestly, the children were out of order. I'm not the person to paint with a broad brush. There's space for shared blame here, but I don't think I'm really looking to place blame. The older women had a point. But so did the children. They just weren't able to articulate it. I keep replaying the child calling her "mom" and asking if she wanted a lollipop. She was asking for recognition. But she was also embarrassed. She was stuck between finding something respectful to say to an elder and remaining cool among her friends. Both of those spaces are important. I'm not saying these kids were warranted in their behavior. I'm not even saying that what they did was right. But I'm not silly enough to think that what a child says is what a child means.
Had this woman taken the time to ask questions rather than give mandates, she would have found that these students were recording a video. Do it for the Vine.
If I had the resources, or the time, I would do an extensive research project on youth identity forming on Vine. If you've ever had the time, I encourage you to scroll through a few Vines. If you don't have the app, Youtube Search "Best Vines". You will find something amazing. You'll find great videos, and many from young people of color. Silly videos, ridiculous videos, witty videos... Many of them are pretty thoughtful. And the videos go viral. Easily.
We don't have many art programs in urban schools. We have a lot of math, a lot of reading, a lot of test prep. But art is not an every day activity for most urban students. In fact, they're so rare, that in many schools, subjects like visual art, drama, music, dance, or physical education are referred to as "specials". Let that language marinate.
Urban youth make Vines and Instagram videos as a form of resistance and creativity. They come together to form identity. It is a release of often-stifled energy. These students are taking the mundane and making meaning, and doing so in a way that most adults can't ask them to do. They do so in a way that can't be measured by Common Core. They do so in a way that will never be recognized or appreciated. We say we want them to develop an opinion, to form a plan, to have a vision, but only when we ask them to write a paper or submit a project. But because most adults are turned off by their "language" and performance of identity, the artistic genius is missed. We need to be teaching young people how to be Players on this World's Stage. So we have to meet them where they are.
But this isn't really a post on Vines. It's about our relationship with young people.
I wonder what would have happened if that older woman sat down with them and asked them what they were up to. Or if she offered to buy them an apple pie. Or if she smiled at them. How might they have responded to her (very reasonable) request of asking them to consider her feelings in using "the language".
The saddest thing about the whole interaction is that these women congratulated one another after the interaction. They were proud of themselves. They though they had really changed the world in saying something. They actually hadn't. They had really just played their role in perpetuating and reaffirming the reality that young people try to resist in their creativity on Vine and in other spaces. They had become a hashtag. #OldLadiesBeLike #YouGonChillOrNah
I'm worried about what we think of young people. In my own experience, I've seen second graders moderate discussions, solve problems, and advocate for fairness. I never taught them that. Our job as teachers (and adults) is not to tell young people what to think. We would only be replacing ourselves, and I don't think we're all that special anyway. Our job is to encourage them to see the world, think about why it is the way it is, and evaluate its status. Then they will change it for the better.
Do it for the vine.
No comments:
Post a Comment