You're A Lovely Woman: I Win

I wrote this a few weeks ago, and added some new pieces since then:

So, July 20 was a long day for me. I was at work, then we had a lil Happy Hour at Peaches, and then I ran to my sister's bday celebration in Union Square. Obviously, I had to figure out a way to make a seamless wardrobe transition from day to night. Sidebar: If I could rewrite Superman, I would make him a Working Woman. The whole changing-in-a-telephone-booth thing is soo pre-Generation iPhone.

Anyhoo, in the hustle and bustle of going from place to place, I had my mean mug on. You know which one I mean. The one that says "Don't talk to me, don't holla at me, don't ask me what my name is because I am on a mission". Ironically, that face usually prompts cat-callers to say things like "Hey put a smile on that beautiful face, fine lady". I never win.

I was waiting at the bus stop to make it to Working Woman's Changing Space (read: My friend's house in Bed Stuy) and a 40 year old  hipster invaded my mean mug to say something simple:

"You're a lovely Woman"

I looked at him, confused. What? ME? But sir, I don't have on any makeup, and my hair is in a messy bun, and I don't have on any earrings, and I smell like 8 hours of professional development/happy hour, and my mean mug.... You must be a creep to even get in my bubble like this. 

Then I stopped. And wondered why I would even challenge him. Why didn't I just accept the compliment and keep it moving? 

In this world, or at least in my world, we can never win. If you have even the slightest air of confidence, you are received as a cocky jerk. And if you ever have an insecurity, people believe that you are fishing for compliments. And as much as my parents raised me with ONLY Teresas (no Barbies) and made sure we had books like "Bright Eyes, Brown Skin", I still live in this space of self-doubt. Because, for what other reason might I think homie was a creep for saying those feared four words? 

I doubt that that man will ever read this blog. And I doubt that I'll ever see him again. But I thank you for reminding me that. So, I leave you all with this little nugget of inspiration.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."- Marianne Williamson