"Hot Lunch" and Cold Policy: How Context Gets Lost in the Flurry

Mayor de Blasio and School Chancellor Farina decided to keep NYC Public schools open today, even after dooming weather forecasts. By this morning, the entire city was covered in snow. Most of NYC had an opportunity to stay home. Except students. And their teachers. And whoever was supposed to get those two groups to school today.

Whoops. 

So, about two weeks ago, I wrote about the parental sacrifice involved in snow day decisions. I'm actually not going to take back any of my words, because I believe in what I said. This post isn't to restate or qualify my previous words. It's to provide context. 

Here's the context of our reality:

• de Blasio (and Farina) are jumping into an tense political climate. We forget that our last dictator mayor was a hardcore Republican who could feign "get-downness" because he has that NYC moxie. He wasn't the typical Republican, because he later stripped himself of the label. You know, because he wanted another term in office of reasons. He was a spy of sorts. He was able to blend in with liberals who advocated for gun control and gay marriage. He was also able to blend in with conservatives who advocate for Stop-and-Frisk, without making it an explicit "racial" issue. Now THAT, my friends, takes finesse. 
• Bloomberg wasn't exactly so sensitive to the realities of diverse New Yorkers. During the blizzard of 2010, Bloomberg encouraged NYC to see a Broadway show or get a bite to eat. He forgot that most folks ain't tryna "defy gravity" and shell out the $150 tickets to see Wicked. 
• de Blasio is married to Chirlane, a writer and poet of the Combahee River Collective. The CRC was a Black Feminist Writers' group that used their understanding of intersectional identity to bring awareness and advocacy to the Forgotten among us. His relationship with her is complicated and delicate. 
• There are 1 million students in the NYC School District. That makes it the largest school district in the country. It is also an extremely diverse district, which makes it a worthwhile case study for examining almost any issue in education.

Whew. Okay. Let's go. 

To Teachers

I really don't care that I had to be at work today. We're being paid to go. We'll be alright. Honestly, today was a good day in our class. We had a chance to do the things that we rarely get to do. It was team building and current events. If today felt like "babysitting", please exit stage right. I don't have professional respect for you. Did our class move on to the next lesson? No. Did we take the math test we were supposed to today? No. But we DID write letters (persuasive ones, too!) to Chancellor Farina sharing our opinions about school today. And no one copied anyone else. Our class represented the entire spectrum of opinions. And guess what? Today tied so neatly into our current unit on reviews, for which we'll need a strong foundation in fact and opinion. Check out more of our work at @weSee2CHydeBK on Twitter. You'll be surprised. 

I thank you, colleagues for your presence today. I thank you for getting Here when you had somewhere over There to be. I thank you for finding a way to get to school today. Especially for those teachers who are also parents, I thank you for being exactly what a Teacher is-- a superhero. 

To Parents

I thank you for your sacrifice. I don't have many words but "thank you". Thank you for letting us borrow your kids, for texting us kind words, for being thoughtful and valued members of our community. We thank you for making your own decisions. You are our students' First Teachers. You are their most important teachers. I can't really say much beyond that. There are too many people demonizing and trivializing what you have done. I won't be another voice in that chorus.

To Chancellor Farina and Mayor de Blasio

 While it is true that many students needed two meals today, we also worry about the safety of our students and about the loss of an instructional day. Of the approximately 75 students in second grade, only 30 were present in our school today. We also learned that less than half of our students were present school-wide. Across the city, there was an attendance rate of 44% today. That means that more students were home than at school. We understand that you are trying to remind us of the socioeconomic factors at play here. And truthfully, it's refreshing to hear someone acknowledge the pink elephant in the room. 

 

I'm not "colorblind". I'm also not "status-blind". New York City is a Tale of Two Cities, as de Blasio noted during his campaign. We are sons and daughters of janitors and of lawyers. We are the children of bus drivers and software designers. It is true, many students in NYC are poor. When we flirted with the idea of doing away with student Metrocards, our conscience guided us to make the right decision. We realized that taking away a resource was inhumane and created a "cost" for an education that was promised to be "free". 

It is offensive to Teachers (and to other stakeholders including students and families) to tout "a hot meal" as the primary reason for the opening of schools. We work hard, ALL YEAR, and still endure hurtful words and assumptions about our professional priorities. But then again, as teaching is a largely woman-dominated field, I never really expected you all to respect the very real intellectual work it takes to teach a class of diverse learners. We create unit plans, we differentiate instruction to reach the entire class, we build meaningful relationships with community partners and families, and we make children smile. We're not perfect, but we are serious and committed to our passion. 

I worry that the students who are home, who also need meals, have not eaten today, too. We should also be clear that there are indeed some students who have eaten at home. We should think about that. Let's think about a solution. 

During the summer, students can receive free meals at their local public school building. Summer Meals in NYC have fed many kids (including the students of our Concord Youth Programs AND their counselors). It is a great program because it is local. Some of my students travel very far to reach school in East New York. Especially in the context of the Charter School Movement, "zoned" schools are pretty much a thing of the past. We don't really have neighborhood schools as we used to.  If the point of today remaining a school day was to feed children, I believe we should have allowed students to eat at their local schools, not the schools they attend. That would have been a safer option. We care that students eat. We know that some students receive two meals at school for free. This is real.

Let's also remember that places like Best Buy and Macy's are open because labor is exploited and this is a country built on capitalism.  I wouldn't ever try to build a school on the organizational logic of a company that has its employees work 24+ hour shifts on Black Friday. Of course Macy's is open. But it was also open on Black Friday, weekends, holidays, Yom Kippur... Schools are not businesses. I thought we learned that with Cathleen Black.

I'm grateful to have a mayor and chancellor who are sensitive enough to recognize that schools serve more than one function. But we need to be careful about phrasing and context.  I just think there's something unethical about the reality in which we've asked our students and their families to live. We are asking students to jump through icy hoops. This is what the young folks call "doing the most". 

To our Kids

Most people will tell you that your only job is to go to school. And they're right. But not totally.

Your job is to think. Wherever that is. Your job is to learn, to question, to critique, to wonder, to design, to explore, to propose, to hypothesize, and to dream. You can do that in school. You can do that at home. You can do that in the laundromat while mom gets the last load in the dryer, or on the train on the way to visit your grandparents. You told me that "the baby cries too much". Can you write a story about what her cries sound like? Does it sound like a roaring lion or like a shrieking eagle? Is it a big sound? Can you describe it with seven words?  I dare you to draw what her cries sound like on paper. What colors would you use? What paper would you use?

The world belongs to you. We are counting on you to make better sense of this world than we did. I'm sorry that we didn't leave it to you in a better condition. 

Today was hard. Our class usually has 24 students, but today we only had 12. Some of our students had to leave early. Wherever you are today, I hope that you know that you are special. You are loved. You are incredible. 

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't learn if you don't go to school. That's not all the way true. When you bring in your favorite toy, share a funny joke you learned from your dad, or draw a picture of what the world would be like without gravity, you are using your brain.  Our ancestors learned in shacks, in fields, in churches, AND in classrooms. Anyone who tells you that school is the only place to learn something is someone who doesn't understand the Power of the Mind. 

We missed the students who didn't come in today. We miss you whenever you're absent.  But we also learned something new about the students who came in. And don't worry, we'll make sure that you can catch up the next time we meet. That's our job. I hope you hear me saying that you deserve an education. It is your right and our privilege. You deserve the best schools, the best teachers, the best lunch. But this world is more than what it seems. We haven't done our job right if you are unable to think outside the walls of our school building.

It's hard to see a solution with all this snow. Visibility is low. Perhaps tomorrow we will see more than we did today. 

#LostInTranslation

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I truly don't believe we get life-changing messages from God or Mother Willow from a booming Morgan Freeman voice. Messages are about listening. You must be in the right place, at the right time, with an open heart to see what the World is trying to do with you.
I was in the right place at the right time.

I'm typing this as I'm waiting to meet with my tutoring student. He lives near a McDonalds. I usually sit here with a cup of coffee and get on my computer to do work. I keep my headphones in my ear so that people don't bother me. But I'm listening.

Two older women with WatchTower booklets sat at my immediate right. They kept throwing the ULTIMATE side-eyes to the table of high schoolers nearby. They were offended by the teens' language, offended by their volume, offended by their presence.

Eventually, one of the women went over to speak to them. Her friend had coached her.
"Someone needs to say something. Go over there and tell them", her friend said.

"You all need to learn some respect. You keep sitting over here and saying vile things and it is bothering my ears. Would you speak like that to your mother? Or your grandmother?"

The students looked up at her, laughing.

"Hi. Hi. Hi lady. Hello. How are you. Would you like some of  my lollipop? It's grape flavored". She gestured the lollipop forward, smiling sweetly with a purple grin and purple teeth. It was really a grape lollipop.

"I don't want no lollipop. I want you to understand what you look like. You think it's okay to be sitting here and talking and carrying on like that?", the older woman questioned.

"Hi mom. Hi."

Eventually, "Mom" walked away. As she returned to her table, her friend egged her on.

"That's right, they need to understand. A child is to be seen, and not heard."

That's when I realized what was happening. I was getting a Message.

We are in a dangerous world. The kids we love and serve are silenced in EVERY sphere of their world. They're told to sit "like a leader" in school and to behave and be present. To only take an active role during Youth Sunday at church, but not on any other Sunday. We tell them that political involvement is important, but ignore their very unique ways of resisting and living into activism when they fight against school closings. We wonder why we groom so many adults to become complacent, and we have lost the origin of the problem. It's us. We do not have many spaces where intergenerational work takes place. And because we don't have many spaces in our world that facilitate relationships between youth and elders, both groups are likely to have opinions of the other, grounded in  anecdotal experiences. This is why every word we say to young people matters. We color their lens.

Honestly, the children were out of order. I'm not the person to paint with a broad brush. There's space for shared blame here, but I don't think I'm really looking to place blame. The older women had a point. But so did the children. They just weren't able to articulate it. I keep replaying the child calling her "mom" and asking if she wanted a lollipop. She was asking for recognition. But she was also embarrassed. She was stuck between finding something respectful to say to an elder and remaining cool among her friends. Both of those spaces are important. I'm not saying these kids were warranted in their behavior. I'm not even saying that what they did was right. But I'm not silly enough to think that what a child says is what a child means. 

Had this woman taken the time to ask questions rather than give mandates, she would have found that these students were recording a video. Do it for the Vine.

If I had the resources, or the time, I would do an extensive research project on youth identity forming on Vine. If you've ever had the time, I encourage you to scroll through a few Vines. If you don't have the app, Youtube Search "Best Vines". You will find something amazing. You'll find great videos, and many from young people of color. Silly videos, ridiculous videos, witty videos... Many of them are pretty thoughtful. And the videos go viral. Easily.

We don't have many art programs in urban schools. We have a lot of math, a lot of reading, a lot of test prep. But art is not an every day activity for most urban students. In fact, they're so rare, that in many schools, subjects like visual art, drama, music, dance, or physical education are referred to as "specials". Let that language marinate.

Urban youth make Vines and Instagram videos as  a form of resistance and creativity. They come together to form identity. It is a release of often-stifled energy. These students are taking the mundane and making meaning, and doing so in a way that most adults can't ask them to do. They do so in a way that can't be measured by Common Core. They do so in a way that will never be recognized or appreciated. We say we want them to develop an opinion, to form a plan, to have a vision, but only when we ask them to write a paper or submit a project.  But because most adults are turned off by their "language" and performance of identity, the artistic genius is missed. We need to be teaching young people how to be Players on this World's Stage. So we have to meet them where they are.

But this isn't really a post on Vines. It's about our relationship with young people.

I wonder what would have happened if that older woman sat down with them and asked them what they were up to. Or if she offered to buy them an apple pie. Or if she smiled at them. How might they have responded to her (very reasonable) request of asking them to consider her feelings in using "the language".

The saddest thing about the whole interaction is that these women congratulated one another after the interaction. They were proud of themselves. They though they had really changed the world in saying something. They actually hadn't. They had really just played their role in perpetuating and reaffirming the reality that young people try to resist in their creativity on Vine and in other spaces. They had become a hashtag. #OldLadiesBeLike #YouGonChillOrNah

I'm worried about what we think of young people. In my own experience, I've seen second graders moderate discussions, solve problems, and advocate for fairness. I never taught them that. Our job as teachers (and adults) is not to tell young people what to think. We would only be replacing ourselves, and I don't think we're all that special anyway. Our job is to encourage them to see the world, think about why it is the way it is, and evaluate its status. Then they will change it for the better.

Do it for the vine.

What Snow Days Could Teach Us About Parent Sacrifice

Last Tuesday night, in anticipation of a winter storm, the NYCDOE tweeted that schools would be open Wednesday.  Families were encouraged to "use their judgement" in making the decision to take their children to school. Pause. Since WHEN did we value parental judgement? Since when did we trust our families? It's quite convenient to shift onus and responsibility on parents when we are unable to reach a decision. But that's a post for another day...

Tuesday afternoon I worried about Wednesday. It had threatened to snow something terrible in the NYC Metro area. Part of me was excited because it meant that I could take the day to organize all my various Shea butter products. Part of me was worried that we'd have to come to school, that the notice would come late, and that the day of school in spite of dangerous cold and unplowed streets would teach me something I was unready to know about who goes to my school and what their lives were like.

Guess what happened? Hint-- my butters are still disorganized.

It started from breakfast. Usually, I dread breakfast duty. As much of a "wooh a chance to experience a Communion of mind and bread with my students" teacher I am, I actually look forward to the sacred moments of quietness before they arrive. Sue me.

I passed the auditorium, one of the two places students go if they arrive early. 4 kids in the whole school. Cool. Maybe today will be a "Trick-The-Kids-Into-Cleaning-The-Classroom" day. Wooh! Jobs for everyone! Staple these! Organize these! Sweep! Wipe! Arrange! Amen!

Then I went into the cafeteria. At least 50 kids. I wondered, and naively so, why the kids were rolling so deep here.

Duh. Free breakfast.

It threw me off. It made me remember the urgency of the necessary city, state, and federal benefits for those who live at or below the poverty line. And let's be clear... That line ain't drawn too accurately. I digress.

What I Learned...

1. The kids who showed up were also the same kids who regularly ate breakfast, nearly all of whom do so for free.

2. The kids who showed up had something to lose by staying home. A day off of school means time lost. And the kids who showed up and braved the conditions represented a group of parents who fear that lost time. (Carefully worded. Please note, I tried a MILLION combinations of words and phrases and nothing was neat enough to say this--> Ain't nobody tryna say that the kids who stayed home had triflin parents. That was another kind of sacrifice.)

I was scared to write this post at first because I didn't want it to appear like some chick who's never understood the meaning of "hunger" to sit at her MacBook and gripe about how blessed, helpless, and special SHE is. That's not what this is about.

This post was actually written to remind me of what's at stake. Who needs us. Who we teach. Who we serve. This is not a joke. This is also not just a reminder for teachers.

If you listen to many local news stations, have Facebook account, follow the Ed Reform movement, or if you just have a pulse, you've heard a popular refrain, "Parents in the hood don't have their priorities straight. They have their kids wearing Jordans but ain't never took their kids to the museum". That may be true, but it's not an accurate reading. I won't repeat myself. Just read.

It is expensive to be poor. There is a financial AND a spiritual cost of poverty. The 90's taught us "more money, more problems".  I would also say "less money, more problems". Find a babysitter because you work irregular hours, hire the neighbor's kid to tutor because those hours don't allow you to help with homework, find someone to take the kids to school..... It adds up.

Some of you are sitting and singing "if you can't feed the baby, then don't have the baby". Mama-say-mama-sah-mama-koosah to that, I suppose. But that's really not what's at stake. And that's not really what's most important here.

Until we have comprehensive affordable health coverage, until our schools hire just as many guidance counselors as security guards, until our parents and families are supported by fairly paying jobs, it will ALWAYS be expensive to be poor.

I'm worried about our painting of Parents and Families as either wholly competent or wholly triflin. Parents are human. Humans don't really do well in categories or boxes. Sometimes people do great things. Sometimes people do sucky things. Most times, people shuffle through life and go through the motions. I kind of want to say that I blame Tyler Perry for his influence on American understanding of character development. News flash-- You will not always know if someone is the "good guy" or "bad guy" based on his smile or his theme music. 

There are MANY different types of parents and families--

1. There are families who send their children to school to brave cold weather and dangerous ice because there is a promise of two meals.

2. There are families who send their children to school to brave cold weather and dangerous ice because they don't have any where else to take their children.

3. There are families who send their children to school to brave cold weather and dangerous ice because they're able to do so, and in doing so, they are relatively unstirred.

But what about the kids we didn't see? What about the kids who stayed home with their parents, who made the sacrifice of a sick day/personal day/day of pay? 

Parents make sacrifices. Parents use their best judgement. Families weigh the costs and make the call. There will always be someone who finds fault in the sacrifices you choose. It takes a resilient parent to continue to do his or her personal best, whatever that may be, while facing assumptions of character and priority. For teachers of Black and Brown children, the presence of ANY child in the middle of a snowstorm or below-zero weather says that formal education is a value. That teachers are being trusted, held accountable, and challenged.  It is our job to deliver. 

In the shadow of the Education Reform movement, it is tempting to be distracted by data for the sake of political agendas. I'm not so sure it is anyone's goal to widen the achievement gap. But our focus has to be clearer. Before test prep, it is our job to make a lesson relevant, engaging, exciting, and thoughtful. We are preparing students to become citizens. We are building leaders. We are training our replacements. That's a lot of pressure, but that's what it is. Children have braved cold weather for whatever they thought we had to offer. It's our ethical responsibility to deliver. 

It takes a village to raise a child. Any great teacher can tell you that.  Parents, teachers, voters, policy-writers, all of us. We all have a responsibility to clear the snow. Those who travel behind us and beside us need a safe path. 

Shared sacrifice. Are we ready for it?

What Happens Tomorrow?

"If the structure does not permit dialogue, then the structure must be changed.

True generosity consists precisely in fighting to destroy the causes which nourish false charity. False charity constrains the fearful and subdued, the "rejects of life," to extend their trembling hands. True generosity lies in striving so that these hands--whether of individuals or entire peoples--need be extended less and less in supplication, so that more and more they become human hands which work and, working, transform the world.” 

--Paulo Freire 

I'll start this off by saying that I love y'all.  From the most moisturized strand of my curly fro, to the sole of my freshly-pedicured feet... You have my heart. If you've made your way to this blog, it's because you've found me through a loved one, or are a loved one yourself. I don't got no advertisers! So for that journey, I truly gotta say, Love to you! 

Because I love you... I want to say something.  And if you feel so moved, I want you to respond. Either in a comment, or a tweet (@CandyCornball), or a text message, or an e-mail. I want to know what you think.

I wrote last year about the difference between doing good and being good. I stand by my words. 

One of my favorite Bloggers/writers/Tweeters @FeministaJones helped me to find the language to express the core of my conflict #onToday. Here are a few tweets:

"I've worked in the non-profit sector for over a decade and we have to turn people [volunteers] away on holidays. We offer other days and they decline.

If you want to give, give not just on holidays and don't be mad b/c you're turned away due to overwhelming demand for volunteer space

I've experienced people become outright indignant when told they can't serve food b/c we have no more need for volunteers

When we've asked them to come back in January or February, folks were like "Nah, we good". :-| "

If you follow @FeministaJones , you'll know that her entire life is committed to justice and subverting the world order. She is an empowering and radiant glow of warmth in an otherwise cold world. As a Sex-Positive Feminist Social Worker, this woman dedicates her Twitter space to sharing an affirming word and links to helpful blogs for survivors and their friends, with humor intertwined throughout.

I'm not mad at her for very clearly spending time with her friends and loved ones today. I don't think that takes away from her commitment to service and making this world a better place on 364 other days of the year.

It has been documented that social media can make us jealous of our peers, alter our perception and expression of reality, and create opportunities for tension in relationships. That's not really Facebook's Fault. It's also not Twitter's doing. Nor is it Instagram's problem. It's us.

I would argue that especially during the holiday season, social media makes us, you know, the ones who consider ourselves "socially conscious" feel awkward. Like no matter what we do, we still need to do more. Like we ain't really bout this social justice life. Like it's wrong for us to be sitting up here with our #EatingPants (the ones with elastic) and stuffing our faces with monkey bread and collard greens...

Or maybe that's just me.

I'll use myself as a very transparent example.

This past week, 3 separate people, from COMPLETELY different social circles asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving. When I said "my parents house", they said "Oh. But like are you going to a soup kitchen or something?"

It's not a party, y'all.

The above words from Uncle Paulo Freire sum it up best. False charity is that which depends upon the continued disenfranchisement of its beneficiaries. Freire isn't asking that we make folks "get an honest job" and stop begging. In fact, his call isn't even directed at the recipients of charity. It's directed at those who "serve". Those who pour mac and cheese. Those who collect the shoes. The question he asks is really, "What have you done to make sure that equity finds its way to EVERYONE?" As someone who often feels politically and philosophically lonely, I will only say this... I think it's pretty convenient for us to be distracted by "feel good" activities when there are very real attacks on the Poor and otherwise marginalized on every other day. It makes sense to give poor folks food. But what do we do for the sons and daughters of undocumented immigrants who want to go to college? What do we do for gay and lesbian folks who have been convinced that the only times they're wanted or valued is for fashion advice or musical performances? What do we do for Black high school students who can name more school safety agents than college guidance counselors? Is not every Service equally worthy? Why focus on feeding folks #onToday when people also have other very real, very fixable, very actionable needs? I'm just vocalizing my wonderings doe..

I'm still defining "service" for myself. I'm not exactly sure how to define it in neat words, I'm not there yet. 

But here's what it's not. 

It is NOT pictures on social media feeds with only YOU smiling, and your recipients somewhere lost in the focus of the photo.
It is NOT a chance to "Feel good" and "Give back". (If I had time in this post, I would really share my thoughts on the phrase "give back"... but I'm trying to keep my posts tight)
It is NOT a chance to pressure others into doing Service as you imagine it.

To me, service is Ms. Zelma. She donates her time on Saturdays and during her summers to share the message of Love's way of making Social Change with young people. She can be found researching history sites in Brooklyn to bring our students on trips. She was also the one to encourage our Tech Crew at Concord to train a young high schooler to operate the screen. Now, this young lady has a "Thing" that keeps her happy and makes her feel cool.

To me, service is Shahara. She always took me out as a child (and even as an adult). As a child, I did not understand why some lady thought I was important enough to take to an India.Arie concert. But I will always remember how special I felt to have someone like her think that I was important. Especially during awkward years of middle school high school college now. She can be found leading a group of children in a game of "Land, Sea" wherever, WHENEVER. She is what you'd call a True Educator.

To me, service is Mr. Bob. Mr. Bob (or grandpa, as he is known to the kids at our church) is an excellent cook. He shares his gifts with our youth programs, and the children and staff are ever grateful for his love. He can whip up a chicken salad with only three peanuts and a stalk of celery. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but he does the daggon thing. He is also an awesome photographer. He sends photographs of Brooklyn to students in college to keep their spirits light and remind them of why they study. You might even luck up and find some green paper in there. Hey!

I suppose my understanding of service is different. I think service makes sense when it is dependent upon a relationship. I've always felt uncomfortable with soup kitchens and clothing drives because I struggle in articulating what I would prefer the alternative to be. Folks get offended when you don't want to do the things they do. That's not the intent. Hear me.

We need coats. And homies need food. And it's important to have these initiatives rolling. I fear for what our world would look like without the Holiday Volunteers. But as my sister Feminista said earlier, in all her social work experience, it has been a BLOW trying to find volunteers in the off-peak season. 

My college had a Community Service Day Initiative, called "Do It Day". Most folks on campus were encouraged to participate in some sort of community service project in Hartford, one of the poorest cities in one of the richest states in America. During most days of the year, you'll hear of students being "afraid to cross Broad street" for fear of getting robbed or beaten up. Folks call the cab to go to the grocery store only 10 minutes away walking. But Do It Day was a THING. It seemed like everyone was going. Like somehow the city became less scary when you went to go "fix it".

One year, I decided to participate. We were helping a church operate their Family Fun Day. I felt super weird, because had I not worn that bright-blue t-shirt, emblazoned with the name of Trinity on the back, I would have felt more comfortable sitting with the seniors playing dominos. Y'all know I love Black Church folk. But somehow, I allowed my identity as a "volunteer" to supersede my identity as fellow-Red-Punch-Lover. Or Fellow-Alto-Who-Hates-When-The-Sopranos-Think-They're-Cooler-Than-Us. Or Fellow-Pastors'-Kid. I felt like I was supposed to be there and not supposed to be there at the same time.

Then, God spoke to me through the body of an older man, somebody's Deacon. I overheard a Hartford resident say to one of us, in our super cool Do-It-Day T-shirts, five words that chilled me to a point that I vowed never to do something like this again. He simply said "See you guys next year". Can you imagine what folks feel like in these circumstances? I want to believe that he was being genuine. I want to believe that he actually wanted to see us next year. But what did he think we would be doing for the next 364 days of the year? Did he think we didn't care enough to visit without our bright blue t-shirts? Cuz that's what we proved...

I've never had to shop for my work uniform from the church clothing exchange. I've never had to wait in a Thanksgiving line for food. And I can't even pretend to imagine what it may feel like to be in that position. But from where I'm sitting, I would think that folks who are on that end of the table feel forgotten during the rest of the year, and taken advantage of during the holidays. And the feeling of being "forgotten" probably hurts 364 times more than one day of being remembered.

I'm not asking you to stop serving at soup kitchens. I'm not asking you to stop donating shoes. I'm just asking you help ME and the rest of us commit to the greater good during the entire year. I'm all here for walking and chewing gum at the same time. It's totally possible to participate in simple service initiatives AND ask that our representatives keep the most vulnerable of us safe. We need EVERY hand. EVERY where. EVERY day.

We all need help doing this the right way. I asked around and here are some solutions I found from trusted friends and websites. Otherwise, all this service excuses the fact that there are very real reasons and Forces that create a city in which Soup Kitchens and Shelters are a necessity.

What You Can Do:

• Get involved in your local community via block associations. These groups do great work to ensure to bring service projects to a more local level.
• Advocate for fair housing projects in your own community.
• If you're volunteering at a shelter or a clothing drive, put the phone away. Sit with someone you're serving. Break bread and share your story. Maybe they'll share theirs. You'll walk away with more information and convincing first hand evidence of how the system has failed people.
• Get connected with a mentoring program. It is much easier to build strong [children] than to repair broken [adults]. You may not think you're hot stuff, but to a child, your obsession with nail polish or anime might be the difference.
• Smile. This world needs happier people.
• Read this link. It did a better job of providing data than I could. 
• Use this. Pressure your local representatives to fight for the restoration of SNAP benefits to their full utility. On November 1, SNAP benefits were reduced for all participating families. It is expected that soup kitchens will serve more people now that benefits have been cut, but the supply of daily soup kitchens have not kept up with the demand. 

For Trayon Christian and For Us: Sip That Liberation KoolAid

The Recipe for Liberation KoolAid

Earlier this week, the news broke into my FB feed that a 19 year old Black College student, Trayon Christian, was arrested for buying a $350 belt at Barney's.  To clear the record, Christian was not apprehended by a Barney's employee, but by undercover officers. In a private store. Let that marinate. Y'all mad yet, or nah?

In any case, I'd like to sip some tea with y'all. Actually, not tea. Let's get some KoolAid. I'll hold the poison. I ain't Jim Jones. What I offer here is KoolAid to keep ya throat moistened as you ask your OWN questions. Let's begin with....

2 parts water—We must use our outrage to liberate ALL people.

We have an odd tendency to remind people that we engage in activism. We insist that we are "down for the cause". We marched for Trayvon. We marched for the Anniversary of the March on Washington. We marched for red fish. We marched for blue fish. We marched for one fish AND two fish. Certainly, we are engaged, thoughtful, well-intended folks. But the mere insertion of a "not that it matters but why was he buying a $350 belt?" disclaimer is not enough. In this Work, it is not enough to carry the flag of Feminism if we are not ready to fight against the mistreatment and disregard of Women in our every day life. It is not enough to say we're here for Social Justice if we are not ready to read between the lines of EVERY problematic interaction. Race is EVERYWHERE. If the following statement TRULY does not matter, do not say it. It is distracting. And distractions can be dangerous.

Speaking of Dangerous Distractions, let us remember that in Trayvon Martin's (how eery that he and Trayon Christian have similar names) story we had peripheral conversations about attire or “black-on-black crime” Here's the trajectory of how those peripheral conversations went:

Can you believe that? à Poor boyà Poor familyà I'm sure he was a good kid, but this is why we need to have the conversation about sagging pants today.

OR

Can you believe that? à They just don’t value our lives à We have to value our lives FIRSTà Well with all this glorification of gangsta culture, you have to wonder why anyone would respect us in the first place.

No. Well, not really.

Yes, it is important for us to have parallel conversations about what WE do. We are quite capable of thinking, acting, behaving, dressing for ourselves. We're civilized. And you know what? Sometimes we have to say that out loud, cuz folks don't take our word.

There is this underlying idea in our World that in order to be respected, you must be worthy of respect. It is the same reason why we look at women’s clothes and point a finger, saying they “asked for it”. We have an obsession with placing and misplacing blame.

But in the middle of a discussion in which a White man follows and tracks down a Black boy and shoots him, that conversation is inappropriate. Is the conversation necessary and worthy of exploration? Absolutely. Does it need to happen in the same train of thought as this one? Must it serve as a catalyst on TODAY? Nah. When we do this, when we open up the discussion for "our fault" and "our responsibility", we give Those Who Have Wronged a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card. We should instead, have a larger discussion about Gun Control and our obsession with gore, masculinity, and asserting power over others. That’s what Zimmerman was really doing. We rationalize and empathize with those who should be ashamed of their stupidity. We give them more ground to stand on. And unfortunately, that ground is weighing heavily on the trigger of a gun. Aimed at us. Pressure. Click click boom.

There is far more power in taking unfortunate events like Trayvon Martin’s death and turning them into discussions about Everyone’s Liberation, not just the liberation of Black folks. It ain’t just about Saggin Pants and Hoodies, y’all. It’s about our Obsession with Guns. And THAT KoolAid serves errybody.

1 part sugar—Acknowledge that Capitalism is the American Way. Now disrupt it.

For those of us who have been asleep since high school civics, let us remember. America is Capitalism. In fact, it is the one of the few things that unites us as a country. As a country of many peoples, languages, religions, histories, and identities, on the shortlist of shared meanings we have of American Identity is the Almighty Dollar. We know brands. We know experiences. I say “I’m loving it” and I’m sure 73% of you have imagined the Golden Arches of McDonald’s. It’s actually what we do best as a country.

We talk about money in a way that many other cultures do not. It is not uncommon for folks to talk about how much they make, how much their rent is, or how expensive their car is. And if no one ever shared his or her living costs/income with us, we have an infatuation with knowing it anyway.

President Obama said it, not me. There is not "a White America" or a "Black America". There's one America. And here in America, we talk MONEY.

When one has been systematically AND personally disinvited from these money talks, we have created a situation in which folks will do ANYTHING to be seen or heard. It is the core reason why Love and Hip Hop features LOUD Black women who sit at expensive restaurants but still throw drinks like they're at the hood-spot. It is the core reason why Jay-Z and Kanye's most recent music sounds more like a commercial for expensive luxury brands, and it is the core reason why you will always see lines of Black folks lining up for Jordans when they come out. Not because they are irresponsible. Not because their priorities are misaligned. But because here, in these United States, we tell folks that they are only worthy of attention if they can prove their worth. Everyone wants, no, everyone needs to feel special. So what happens when a certain group of Someones is systematically excluded from that very real need? Needs ain't being met. And that's a recipe for disaster. 

In the American context, you cannot own something until you buy it. That goes for knowledge (college tuition), love (wedding expenses), and even religion (prosperity gospel preachers who ask for 40 dollars a month to "sew your seed and reap your blessing"). Let's face it. Money absolves things. It's like being baptized.

I think the most popular DOPE critique of this news story is “Why have we not arrested Barney’s for selling a $350 belt?”. Y’all silly. Still worthy of exploration. We are kidding ourselves if we only see one half of this story. Yes, this story is about a young Black man who bought a $350 belt. But it is also about a society that places value on those who own things. Before we criticize this man for buying a $350 belt, it is our responsibility to challenge the evils of capitalism. 

A splash of ginger ale-- Rules apply to EVERYONE. That's why they're called rules, not conditions.

I do not believe in a colorblind approach to identity politics. In fact, I think seeing identity frees us. We are able to see and do more when we get the whole picture.

Today, I saw three Black men in a BMW who were stopped by police in Bed Stuy. Being mixxy as I always am, I asked an older Brother standing in front of the Laundromat what he saw.

Brother Old Man: Man, they ain’t even have a reason to stop him. He was  driving reg-uh-luh and they just stopped him.

Me: Wait, just now?

Brother Old Man: YES. They threw the sirens on and they got out the car. You already know why they did that. You young, you black, you ain’t ‘posed to have  sh*t. You ain’t sh*t. So when they see you with sh*t, they say “Oh sh*t”.

Basically.

I remember in high school, my friend Stephanie had a birthday dinner. Her mom let her borrow the credit card to pay for everyone’s meal. We sat, we enjoyed, we had a grand old time. When it was time to pay for the dinner, this OBVIOUSLY under-18 White girl with blond hair passed the waiter a credit card. He thought nothing of it.

My college was a super rich, super WASPy, super Keeping-Up-With-The-Jones’s school. On campus, most of the student jobs were filled by students of color (which says a lot about notions of service, financial aid, and educational equality). If White students had jobs that helped them pay for the expensive Barbour jackets, the Bean boots, the fancy watches, and the vacations during reading days, those jobs were not as visible.

I’m going to make an assumption inference.

Many White folks have things they do not personally earn. They buy things with cards from parents, they have uncles who give them nice wads of cash, and cousins who send them bomb birthday checks. That’s cool. I ain’t knocking it. But we never question them.

Many Black folks, in order to be taken seriously and to avoid being patronized, prove beyond all doubt that they have worked to EARN something. It’s a wonderful trait. And still, we question.

The more we learned of this story, we found that Christian saved his money from a part time job while at school. He earned the belt. Whether or not it was a smart decision, whether or not he could have bought textbooks with $350. He earned it.

Yes, Black folks historically have a complicated history with wealth and finances. We do not have the luxury (as a demographic Block) of spending money in the ways our Paler Sisters and Brothers do. Let’s be real, though. Have YOU ever said, “Man, I really deserve this manicure”, “Dang, I really should take myself out” , or “I want to go to the movies”. We make decisions to do things for ourselves, even when we know there are other things we could/should be doing.

Especially in our community, we wait until someone snaps to give them the Grace to take a personal day. We wait until someone feels overworked and undervalued and snaps in the break room until we offer them a piece of candy. We wait until someone hurts himself or herself (or someone else) before we pretend to care about their emotional well being. If this $350 belt was all Trayon Christian had to make himself feel good, let him have it. THEN, we can have the discussion about capitalism and its way of feeding on our very mental health.

The Lemon Garnish-Give thanks for the small victories, and think about the challenges that exist elsewhere.

What we’re not talking about, though, is the fact that Trayon Christian is a college student. With the statistics of Black men in college looming over our heads, we have to congratulate and support him.  I would venture to say that Trayon Christian is going to be fine, regardless of what happens to him. He has already beaten several odds. We have to realize that for every Trayon Christian we have in our circle, there is also a Trayvon, a Kashief, a Jayden, a Marcus. A boy who will be stopped before he gets a chance to explain. A student who will have to prove he is completely harmless in order for White students to stop calling Campus Safety on him. A teenager who is pushed out of school because he does not have uniform pants for the third day in a row. A son who is labeled with ADHD before being professionally evaluated. If Trayon Christian can be arrested for Shopping While Black, we have to think about all the other ways that Identity can either free us or oppress us. 

Still thirsty? Me too. Let’s keep talking. *Sips KoolAid* Ahh. 

SCANDALous: Black Women Actually Think!

It has been a while since I've written something. My bad.

As a Black 22-year-old woman, a recent-college grad with a full time job, I write. I do not speak for the "ratchet FEE-mailz". Nor do I speak for the "Academic Ladies". Nor do I pretend that there ain't rachet in the academy, or academy in the rachet. And I certainly ain't sitting here pretending like one strand of this Helix is somehow more dignified or more authentic than the other. 

From my Seat, this post means a lot to me.  I am situated in the matrix of the Academy and the Rachet. Too many writers have chosen to focus on matters above the heads of the masses. It is time to take popular culture seriously. So I write this piece as a conveniently located shorty. Somewhere between Trinidad James and James Baldwin, Queen Bey and Queen Latifah. It feels good to be here. 

I say this, not because it's cute. But because it is the exact premise of this post. Today, folks, we're gonna talk about pigeonholed identities and society's tendencies to hate the Black woman. *writes objective on the board*

Here we go.

Y'all know I love being Black. I also love being a Woman. I take pride in the spectrum of experiences we have, the things we (and our hair) can do that others cannot (or don't have to do), and in our stories. Perhaps the most exciting thing to happen for Black women on TV in the last few years is the arrival of Shonda Rhimes' Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington. Let's take a minute and thank God for Ms. W. She bad. 

When Olivia first arrived to our TV screens, we were excited. This was the first time a Black actress had a strong presence in a prime time TV show since Mama Carroll. We cheered. It kinda felt like Election Night 2008.... You know, people calling mamas and saying "we made it". At least that's what it felt like. 

Then we learned that Olivia Pope didn’t just have a fierce wardrobe or trademark lip quiver. We learned that Olivia Pope had a low-profile relationship with a high-profile man. A White man, no less. As episodes progressed, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook exploded with memes and statuses about Blackness and Womanhood. Here are a few gems....

Obvious crimes against spelling and grammar aside, let's take a minute to absorb what's happening here. What do you see in this picture? I'll let you know some things I find.

1. First off, the classic watermark reminds us that this meme is for "BlackMenOnly". You know, cuz the rest of us are too weak and girly to handle the truth that springs forth here. 

2. Black men are tired of always being made out to be the bad guy. We, as Black women, should acknowledge we are oppressing Black men. Why do White dudes get to have all the fun?

3. As Black women, we should feel like traitors. At the Adulterers' Convention last spring (held in Las Vegas, Tiger Woods was the Keynote Speaker), it was decided that extramarital affairs should only take place between members of the same ethnic group. Any other complication makes things sticky. 

You can't be serious, right?

Then I found this gem.

Peep shorty's stance in the top panel. Shaniqua is obviously an aggressive Black woman who cannot keep Tyrone happy (mostly because she cannot cook). We see her reprimanding her assumedly innocent man. But watch, the hypocrisy! That same woman is so "stupid", so "self-serving", and so "irrationally emotional" that she cannot regulate her heartbeat when Fitz and Olivia have their intimate moments on screen... 

  

But this one took the cake. Here, we have a picture of Fitz. The President. The Prince of Olivia's Heart. Someone #onHere (oh hey @FeministaJones) decided to make a meme that captures the essence of his undeserved smuggitude. And here, is the issue--

Y'all jealous. You're, as Jamilah Lemieux so beautifully wrote earlier today, "showing us... conflicting emotions and dare I say...hurt."

I won’t let this conversation sit there, although she and others have engaged in an awesome dialogue.

Here’s my concern about Scandal and our reaction.

It’s. Television.

Rarely, do you EVER hear me say “it’s just television”. After all, I have YET to see Django because I’m opposed to its premise, I’m still tending to the wounds of The Help, and I’m STILL sorting out my feeling about The Butler. I take Race and Representation SERIOUSLY. There is a link between the ways we are portrayed on television, and the ways we are treated. Everything is fair game.

Here’s what Scandal is NOT.

It is not an absolution of infidelity.

It is not a commercial for Side Chick University.

It is not the socializing equivalent of “gangsta rap” for young children.

Black Women are not children. We are capable of discerning “good” aspirations from “bad”. And we are completely capable of being held responsible for our poor choices, too. We are not babies to be coddled, fed, burped, and changed. We understand that Scandal is not real life. And while we may lust over that FIYAH white coat, we do not wish Olivia’s fate on anyone.

It’s funny. I think I have seen more of these “Y’all-black-women-stupid-cuz-you-won’t-let-me-have-a-wife-and-you-at-the-same-time-is-it-cuz-I’m-Black” memes on the Instagram/FB/Twitter accts of Black men.

What Shonda Rhimes is doing with Olivia Pope is called "providing context". You might read that as us "praying to St. Olivia". But it's really much lighter than that.  The discussions about Ms. Pope serving as either a "whore" or a "convenient superwoman" can stop. The flashbacks, the awkwardly long lip quivers, the dramatic phone calls.... These glimpses into Olivia's very complicated love life provide nuance in a situation that often might grant her the "Whore" label.  In other words, this has nothing to do with the involvement of a White love interest.

It’s funny how we see racial complication on TV, but refuse to locate the racial tension in our own lives Perhaps because our focus (or scapegoat) is a Black woman. There's a lot happening on Scandal. And in the world. We'd be doing ourselves a great service to keep our race-gender justice radar ON all the time. Scandal is just Thursdays, y'all. 

I have also seen a meme floating around that there might not be as many squeals of “YASSS LIV” from Black women had the racial identities of the characters been switched. Basically, folks are asking if Black women would be so down for Ms. Pope if Fitz were Black, Millie were Black, and Olivia was White.

I don’t think that’s the purpose of Scandal. That train of thought is a reach. Someone’s trying super hard to play “Devil’s Advocate” here. The Devil needs no advocate.

I don’t believe that the point of Scandal is the racial tension between the characters. In fact, I think Shonda Rhimes goes OUT of her way to paint Olivia as a Teresa Barbie. You know… The Black Barbie who is supposed to be Black and is sold to Black girls as a Black doll, but doesn’t really live the “Black life”. I always felt like my Teresa dolls were just Barbies painted Black. Straight hair, dainty European facial features, and a regular figure. Come on Teresa. In real life, you would have to do a SERIOUS dance to get into the Barbie jeans.

Much of Olivia’s life is so contrary to what many people understand Black life to be. Her father has a cushy job, her apartment is dope, she swims with a weave, her job is her passion and is respected, she LITERALLY calls the shots, and she has the swag to hang up on the Leader of the Free World… In WHAT world does that happen on primetime TV?

I’m not saying that Black folks don’t live great lives. We do. Many of us do. But I don't think we're dumb enough to believe that mainstream media is ACTUALLY selling us something they believe in. Olivia Pope could have easily been played by a White woman. There is nothing in her story that suggests that her character MUST be played by Ms. Washington (by the rules of media-logic, of course). Again, let it be heard that I am arguing that Mainstream Media has rules. Olivia Pope fits into these rules because, well, we’re not supposed to believe that her character could actually exist. A Black woman in 2013 as a ride or die for a Republican president? Really? We know better.

We’ve been primed for this. Unfortunately, we only see a sliver of the "Black Woman Show" on TV. Most folks actually don't know how incredibly regularly phenomenal we are (but shout outs to IssaRae and the ABG Show!) So it makes sense. I'm just watching TV here. And for you to say that I'm somehow irrational or hypocritical because you do not see me protesting in the street against Rhimes? It means you do not trust my judgement. It's patronizing, friends. Our faith in Olivia’s story is just about as believable in the chance that Whitney Houston is actually OUR Fairy Godmother, not Brandy’s.

Black Women are smart. We think. We write. We research. We teach. We preach. We advocate. We protest. And we'd love to see you standing at our side as we fight the ever-enduring struggle for liberation. We understand that Scandal is a television show. Trust, if anyone is really sitting on the couch watching ABC at Thursday 10 PM believing anything… It’d be the guy I turned down for a date. I hope he didn’t actually believe my story about heading to DC to see my boyfriend, the one I can’t really talk about…

Gullible.